I come to you NOW not to banter into my new microphone, not to complain, nor to sell. I’ve come to construct a criticism, a criticism that I’ve been puzzling together for over a year, and I think the time to speak is now.
So wish what you like, if you are NOT interested in learning more than you have the undeniable freedom to move on, and that’ll be the end of it. However, now that you’re reading this very sentence, you’ve convinced me that you are, in fact, interested.
There will be no names or specific events pointed. Only the situation.
What does it mean to “Be a Man”? In the past few years, I’ve been unfortunately labeled as “weak”, “stupid”, “an idiot”, “illiterate” (personal favorite), and the glue of it all “Not a Man.” Now of course, whatever brought up these labels to be used has a reasonable, possibly plausible narrative, but what surprised me even to this day is that I don’t think the meer “critics” really knew what they meant.
I’m going to put my neck out, and of course accept the wonderful constructive criticism which will follow, and say many people don’t really know what “Be a Man” actually means. Let me ask again - What does “Be a Man” really, and I mean, really mean? Does it mean to take action when required? Does it mean to boss around the girl of his dreams? Does it mean to protect the people and things he loves? Does it mean to take control, and if so, of what?
I think… and remember this opinion is coming from a human with a penis… what it really means to BE A MAN today is one who takes action when it’s necessary. I think it means to protect and provide. I think it means to stand for what they believe is good. I don’t think it means to boss around the girl he likes, because… face it this isn’t the 1950’s. I don’t think it means to always make the first move.
Our generation has been brought up to treat all human beings with equality, empathy, and respect. We’re spinning to a new age where women finally (or close to finally) are on the same playing level as men. Women are finally given the same opportunity as everyone else to succeed however they want! Equality in all parts of the constructive society… but I guess except in the dating field?
Now I’m a shy guy, and I admit I would rather sprint over a pile of snakes then ask a girl I really like out on a first date. I accept that, and I perfectly understand that the girl can’t always make the first move. A part of me thinks I don’t want to ruin whatever friendship I have with the girl. Another part of me is afraid of rejection. Fear is actually the perfect motivator. So does that make it cowardly? NO! Let me say that in Spanish: NO! And in German: NEIN!
Look around the world we live in. We are faced with challenges and hardcore decisions everyday. The society we live in forces us to live this way. I would declare a man who’s willing to risk financial security to chase after his dream a brave person. I would call someone courageous who understands that courage doesn’t just exist in getting tail, and instead flourishes in blindfolded decisions.
But believe this: I know for sure when a guy…or girl… sees a person they really, really, really like… fear flies out the little window, and no matter who you are, natural, hormonal instincts take over.
Weakness isn’t inaction. It’s surrendering to the bad. Stupidity doesn’t exist in the absence of trivia. It’s repeating the same mistake. Illiteracy isn’t defined by a stutter or a first draft. Let me repeat… Illiteracy isn’t defined by a stutter or a first draft. I’ll leave it up to you to look up the definition of this overused insult.
True character emerges in the darkest of times, and I’ve learned when someone stabs you in the ear with a personal insult, the strongest thing one can do is withstand it. It takes more strength to stand next to the person who’s causing you pain than to drop to their level and retaliate. Think of the last time when someone insulted you and you struck back. Did you feel uplifted or wicked? If you felt great then I guess the person who insulted you deserved it.
I understand many arguments can be made against these bold claims, and I welcome them with open arms. But one thing I’ll always defend… stupid, idiot, and “Your’re not a Man” are three wildly overused terms. To insult someone is to reveal how low to the dirt you’re willing to go, and I understand sometimes one must retreat to that level to protect what they love.
Maybe, just maybe, the next time someone calls you stupid, see if they know what it means, because I promise you, over half the time those words are used they’re just reflecting from once they came.
We’re all adults here… I think. If there’s no good to be spoken to, then just say “That’s interesting” and leave. Our time on this planet is too short. We should be devoting our energy to lift ourselves higher. Now one can’t cheat and just push everyone down. That’s, that’s not the same.
I applaud you for making it down here. Thank you… seriously.